Archive for August, 2010

So, I read The Onion pretty regularly, and try to share some of its greatest hits as much as I can. There’s nothing quite like the crazy, farcical writing that’s their stock in trade. Today, as I chomped down on an unholy, salt-laden protein-fest that was supposed to be good for me, I came across:

Gentries explained that it “didn’t take long” to find out as much about the tenets of Islam as he needed to. He said he knew Muslims stoned their women for committing adultery, trained for terrorist attacks at fundamentalist madrassas, and believed in jihad, which Gentries described as the thing they used to justify killing infidels.

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 Katy vs. MariahSong of the Summer: “I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry
I love lesbians. They’re great. Sure, 100%, 6-on-the-Kinsey-scale lesbians aren’t exactly interested in my interest, but a 3 or a 4 will do just nicely. Now, that girl at the bar who has absolute zero sexual interest in the chick she’s tonguing down for my attention? No thanks. That shit irritates me enough to kill whatever chubby their little show was meant to inspire. This song is the Pop-music manifestation of that girl. Attention-seeking, wannabe-provocative, and with its pseudo-Glam-Rock core, a pathetic waste of Glitter. Still, America’s teens ate this shit up, and it spent seven weeks at the top of the charts.

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I love fragrance ads. No other subgenre fully embraces the conceptual, the pretentous, the over-the-top quite like it. When the pursuits of subtlety and tastefulness are removed from the equation, there’s no longer room for mediocrity — you’re either totally brilliant or an awesome trainwreck.

For this reason, I thoroughly enjoyed the ’90s golden age of fragrance ads. From Kate Moss’ iconic whisper to Vanessa Paradis’ haunting whistle, to Égoiste’s cringeworthy awesomeness, the ’90s had all the best shit. (more…)

Sometimes, I hate people. I’ve been trying to stay out of this Cordoba House madness in the hope that by not feeding it in some way on my little blog, the shit would go away. But of course that isn’t the case, and shit’s starting to get real out here. In my opinion, all this anti-Islam furor is a better anti-American terrorist recruitment tool than anything bin Laden ever came up with.

So with that, America, I must enumerate what grinds my gears about this whole Cordoba House mess.

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Sigh.

All month, The CW has been teasing the arrival of Nikita, its upcoming “erotic espionage thriller.” Here to give the “plucky female heroine” of USA’s Covert Affairs a run for the dollar bills stuffed down her bra, Nikki is a rebooted version of previous Hot-Chicks-With-Guns favorite La Femme Nikita. Always loved that show… When will folks realize that giving a tawdry product a French name only makes it sleazier. What’s the old adage? Ahh, yes… “La Fleur de Sexe by any other name would probably smell a little less like the laundry hamper at Rumps & Pumps.”

Anyway, who is Nikita? She apparently was an assasin who worked for The Government™, was Betrayed by her Bosses™, and has now Gone Rogue™ in a sexxxy quest for revenge.

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I know this is old, but like I said, I’ve been busy. I feel like I’ve missed my window to properly address the Cordoba House mess. But I had to at least address this mess somehow.

NYMAG: Obama ‘Recalibrates’ on Ground Zero Mosque

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Sack up, Barry.

Rihanna vs. RowlandSong of the Summer: “Umbrella” by Rihanna
From the jump, Rihanna has been a novelty act. From IDJ trying to appeal to mainstream fetishization of the exotic (“The song that’s been heating up the Caribbean!!”) with “Pon Di Replay” to her metamorphosis into the poster-girl for Focus-Group Edge, Rihanna has always been more gimmick than woman.
“Umbrella” was the single point at which one image transitioned into the other. The”ella/eh” refrain that was so befuddling yet catchy, only worked when viewed through the prism of her Islandness. The far less exotic reality is that those flourishes were more the trademark of the unfortunately named Terius Nash (The-Dream, if you will). (more…)