SERIOUSLY? Snoop Dogg’s “Oh Sookie” True Blood… Thing

Posted: June 23, 2010 by RA in Music, Television
Tags: , , ,

Hi, Snoop. The name’s merq. Big fan.

Now seriously, dude. This is why I keep saying you should have retired in the late ’90s. You gave it a go, made your mark. You would’ve gone out with some dignity. Sure, we would’ve been deprived such gems as”Drop it Like It’s Hot”,  “Perfect”, “Special”, and the near-classic “Beautiful”. But one needs only look at the names of the latter three to get a glimpse of your diminished creativity.

“Beautiful”, “Perfect” and “Special” are essentially the same song. It just gets softer in percussion and rhythm with each reiteration — kinda like recording over the same audio tape over and over. (Remember those?)  Also suffering each time you dip back in that well is lyricism. Sample lyrics from “Special”:

I picture this love affair, of ours/ To last a lifetime, just like flowers…
See I ain’t never blow no cheese /Or done no songs like these/ I love the air that you breathe /You know why?

The problem is, of course, that you have done songs like these. Twice before. And “last a lifetime, just like flowers”?? C’mon, man! You know you didn’t write that shit. Your album advance, rhyming dictionary, and a bag of weed deserve that writing credit.

And while we’re on the subject of weed. Doesn’t it bother you that you’ve been reduced to the sleepy-eyed, “izzle”-ating Hip-Hop High Times poster boy? I understand and wholeheartedly support playing with your image, but you’ve gone from West-Coast Gangsta to Retro Gangster to Retro Pimp Pastiche played for laughs. It’s like you watched the “Doggy Dogg World” video sometime in 2001 and, noticing how many laughs it got from label folk, decided this would be you for the next ten years.

Dude, it’s not funny.

You used to be a talented rapper. You had relevance. Now, you’re like a black Shaggy who lets Scooby write his rhymes for him. Why does it have to be this way? I mean, on cuts like “…World” and “Sexual Eruption”, the whole shtick works because it is clearly a shtick. But being this buffoon 24/7? Dude, we deserve better. We clear?

Alright, now we’ve got that settled, I want you to promise me shit like this will never happen again, either.

 

Thanks, man.

-mQ

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Comments
  1. I must confess….I am very confused. Confused as I am though, I have to defend Snoop by saying that True Blood is a VERY HOT show and celebrities are encouraged to make their own “True Blood Mix.” But seeing that True Blood is such a sex and gore-laden show, I would have assumed that “The Real Snoop” would have at least showed up to the studio. I mean, this is a man that attended an award show leading two women on leashes! …..I’m depressed now.

  2. Dayo says:

    Merq, you’re such a whiner. Really. Like, I mean, we ALL know flowers last a lifetime. They do! If only ’cause Snoop said so. And the hours of hilarity he has provided for several generations of oyinbo frat-boy-types are invaluable. Besides, every team needs a mascot. And this CP team of ours has one, and its name is SNOOP!!

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