Diet Ads: This is Why You’re Fat

Posted: April 10, 2010 by RA in Advertising
Tags: , ,

No, not this. Well, that actually isn’t helping, either. But still…

So, I used to be the type who had to read in order to fall asleep. But moving to NYC almost a decade ago (yikes!) changed all that. With precious little time for recreational reading, and a seriously fatigued brain by the time I hit the sack, I developed the habit of having the TV as my sleep aid. As devoid of intellectual stimulation as late-night TV is, turn the volume down low enough and that shit’s about as soothing as a mother’s heartbeat is to an infant.

Still, this is prime advertising real-estate in both the Branding and Direct Response spheres. You’re up late, so you’re likely more easily influenced in this fatigued state: BRANDING. You’re up late, so you’re likely to be a.) seeking some form of companionship, even if it’s a phone operator, or b.) filled with self-loathing for some reason. So make that call now — before the 10-minute special window runs out! DIRECT RESPONSE. Hey, I’m not against late-night advertising. Or even late-night fitness ads. I owe my present undeniable sexy to it. I got serious and changed gyms hours after a 4AM viewing of an extended Bally’s ad.

So I’m well within my right to call out ads that sully the good name of late-night advertising — the esteemed domain of such sages as Billy “Oxi Clean Keeps Your Crypt Spotless” Mays and Vince “ShamWow” Shlomi. Imagine my horror at being roused from my sleep by one of these total abortions. Everytime I see one, I get out of bed and make myself a Fat Bitch sandwich in disgust.

Smart for Life

  1. idia says:

    *runs to kitchen to prepare a Fat Bitch Sandwich* The first one sounds like a combination of ‘Holla Back Girl’ by Gwen Stefani and ‘Rapper’s Delight’ and Grandmaster Flash’s ‘The Message’….Don’t push me cuz I’m close to the edge….*bites sandwich*

  2. merq says:

    HAH! Brilliant. Somewhere, Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five just felt a cold chill run down their spines.

    I notice you didn’t even try to decode the “Smart for Life” song. Probably best that way.

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